13th on March , its been a month since the dreadful car crash that sink me into an endless void, drowning me with the tides of shame, critics and the aftermath, the mess that I couldn't comprehend more.
I can still remember vividly how i took the key from her , how i started the engine , loaded the gear and the cracks on the wall... I still couldn't believe what happened that day, getting out of the car after the knock , still under some concussion and dizzy...the first question i asked myself was '' If its real ? or is it a just a dream ? wake up ? '' It stroke me a chord of horror about the consequence soon after, on what I'm about to face.
The hours of check up on the hospital was the longest hour i ever spent, overheard some news about those who had head injuries were dropping like flies soon after ! It failed to make me tremble, to make me despair , as i would end this torment in such a way. The images of the past , the one , my families , what I achieved in this life projected on a spotless screen on my mind. I did not cried on the crash site , but i broke out crying in stifles sobs , I cried not because I fear the mess I had to clean up , not because that I had to bare the despair ...but the silvery hair of my dad , on such an age , still need to worry about me. The feel still haunt me every night...till the end of my days? When you succeed , your friend will know who you are , but when you fall , you will know your friends truly is... I felt warm as some of my friends text me about my state, my how about. Others ? not a single fuck was given. I see things clearly now , as much as before , that some friends were just had a friendship card hanging on their neck , label them self as friend
Everything happened for a reason , to tell i have to grow up, to make those matters that seemed lightly harder and those harder things lightly .But what i regret the most was the lost a friend - Yvonne , the bonds were shattered, just like the front mirror of the car , it can be renewed but it would never be the same anymore...
